Becoming A Super Hero

Being exposed to radiation is not a particularly good way to gain superpowers. If you won't take our word for it, just ask the superheroes who have used this method in the past - Captain Leukaemia, The Meltdown Man, Mr. Low Sperm count, Ms. Low Sperm Count, The Inside-Out Man, The Incredible Cancer Victim or The Portentous Blotch.

Deciding on a Superhero name :

Good and Bad Things To Keep In Your Crimecave
Good: Robot doubles.
Bad: Rubber women.

Good: Presidential Hotline.
Bad: Mickey Mouse or Garfield phone.

Good: Detailed map of the city.
Bad: Colour poster of New Kids On the Block.

Good: Crime library.
Bad: Stash of porn magazines.

Good: Your Crimemobile on a turntable.
Bad: Skateboard and ramp.

Good: Sickbay and Auto-Medic Center.
Bad: Tin of Band-Aids.

Good: Spare costumes.
Bad: Basques and peep-hole bras for the rubber women.

Good: Computerised intruder detection system linked to multiplex alarm.
Bad: Piece of cotton stretched across door tied to a small bell.

Good: Forensic analysis laboratory.
Bad: Whiskey still.

Good: City in a bottle, shrunk by your arch enemy.
Bad: Jar of candy.

Good: Teleportation tube.
Bad: Bus timetable.

Good: Scale model of the galaxy showing life-sustaining planets.
Bad: Model railway.

Good: Trophy room to display crimefighting and bodybuilding awards.
Bad: Trophy room to display bowling awards.

Good: Computerised crime files.
Bad: Collection of Anthrax CD's.

Good: Secret emergency exit.
Bad: Cat flap.

Good: Weapon calibration tester.
Bad: Pinball machine.

Good: Gymnasium and fitness suite.
Bad: Fridge full of TV dinners, cold pizza and ice cream.

Good: Mainframe crime computer.
Bad: Nintendo entertainment system.

Good: Hi-octane jet fuel storage for Crimemobile.
Bad: Mini-bar stocked with beer.
Good: Self-contained power generating system.
Bad: Electricity meter and piles of loose change.

Good: Combat simulation area.
Bad: 'Trivial Pursuit' board game.

Advantages of a Boy Wonder
Disadvantages of a Boy Wonder
Advantages of a Girl Wonder
Disadvantages of a Girl Wonder
Good Things to Put Down Your Tights Before Battle
Bad Things to Put Down Your Tights Before Battle
Supervillains You Want to Tackle
Supervillains to Avoid

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